For more years than i care to count i have been searching for spiritual enlightenment. I have read countless self help books, researched various religions, meditated, prayed, cried, spent time with psychologists and at the end of my lonely search almost died.Nothing and no one could arrest my downward depressive spiral.. At the age of 44 i ended up in a rehabilitation center.. my life in ruins..Fuck. I could not comprehend how this had happened, i'm a nice guy, what the hell happened to me ? I'm an angry, resentful and bitter man with nothing to show for my life. My wife was leaving me, but to lose my daughters would crucify me.. i know i would kill myself, no doubt. And so i'm in rehab..WTF